Generational Gratitude
Before my involvement with Mother’s Choice, I worked in the toy industry. Then I decided to take a year off to work with my family. But I wasn’t the best at taking breaks! After two short months, I started going berserk from staying at home with my children! That was when I was first introduced to Mother’s Choice. It was right around February, when they really needed help with the annual gala, so I started volunteering. Shortly afterwards, a vacancy for a fundraising manager opened up, so I took the opportunity. That year was Mother’s Choice’s 25th anniversary, and since then, I’ve been a volunteer, a staff, a gala co-chair, and a donor. I’ve felt loved since my first day here, but my sense of responsibility and belonging has definitely grown through the years.
In my opinion, the beauty of Mother’s Choice has always been about how it redefines the meaning of ‘family’. When most people think of a family, they immediately associate it with blood or resemblance to one another. But there is so much more. Family is about love and connection, caring and respect. And none of that has anything to do with looking like someone or having the same blood type. I am happy to know that my own children share this knowledge too and since they’ve volunteered at Mother’s Choice over the years as well – whether it be spending time with babies at the Child Care Home, completing school projects with them, or interacting with children with disabilities, this mind set is just solidified for them. Most recently a favorite teacher of theirs, who is Caucasian, adopted a Chinese boy and I honestly don’t think they even noticed this. The only thing they noticed was how happy they all were to have found each other and formed a forever family. Our experience at Mother’s Choice has been so fulfilling and we have learned so much. It has really taught us to be open and accepting to all kinds of people and situations.
Boy Blooming
One of my happiest memories is with a boy at Wee Care, which is where we take care of children with special needs at Mother’s Choice.
There was a little boy , and from my understanding, he didn’t come to us until he was almost a year old. Although he was reaching a walking age, he had been tied to a crib before he came. He had just had brain surgery and as a result, was struggling with some mobility issues and visual impairments. When I met him, he was almost four, and everyone just wanted to get him adopted before he turned five. That quickly became our biggest concern – how we could get him adopted as soon as possible. In spite of everything, he was an amazing child. He was funny, engaging, and even learnt how to play different instruments! So I started visiting him every time I was at the Child Care Home. The staff would always tell me that he’d never remember my name, but I grew more and more attached to him regardless. I remember crying my first happy tears for him during his birthday – we were playing after work that day, and when I told him that I was going leave, he turned to me and said “okay, goodbye Auntie Amanda.” I cried so hard afterwards. The whole incident felt like a miracle because everyone assumed that he was going to be brain-damaged. People thought he wouldn’t be able to remember names, but he remembered mine!
Time flew by and before we knew it, we were throwing Kevin a farewell party for him and his adoptive family. Seeing him leave us was very hard, and I remember leaving the party early because I was crying so hard. That was the last time I saw him, but he sent us updates, and we know he is doing very well. He was truly the best, and his story is such a testimony to how important good nurturing is. A lot of times, we’re faced with children who people think are hopeless. But guess what? With a little bit of encouragement, they can and will always bloom.
Guidance for the Girls
It was around eight years ago – I was at the Child Care Home, brainstorming fundraising ideas with a volunteer. Because the window of the meeting room faced the staircase directly, I was able to see everyone who walked up and down the building. That day, I saw a young teenager walking down the stairs with a baby in her arms. She was probably 14 or 15 years old, and she was with a woman who was a little older. I later found out that the baby was the teenager’s child, and the woman accompanying her was the teenager’s mother. What really struck me was how young, naïve, and unbothered the teen was. She didn’t really appear sad, and although she was there to place her child for adoption, she couldn’t stop talking about how cute her baby was. And then there was her mother, who was bawling and shaking. She knew that the second they left the place, they would never see the child again. And that was the most heartbreaking part – the difference between their reactions.
This is not the happiest of stories, but it reminds me that there’s still so much to do when it comes to supporting these young mothers. They are first and foremost girls who need our support – not just with a pregnancy, but with life. There’s always taboo surrounding how these girls are naughty and promiscuous, and that they got pregnant because they didn’t behave. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. If anyone spent five minutes with them, they’d realize that most of them just wanted to escape – escape from their family, escape from their household, and escape from their troubles. When they find someone to escape to, that someone always ends up becoming a boyfriend or a romantic partner. Things become problematic when they think that the only way to earn their partner’s commitment is through sex. This idea, along with the lack of knowledge on contraception, makes these girls extra vulnerable to unexpected pregnancies. People have to understand that a lot these girls were just looking for comfort and relief outside o. their own homes, and interestingly enough, most of them have young mothers themselves.
We focus a lot on lifting girls out of vicious cycles like this, and the best approach is always through better awareness and education.
